the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
