Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
