is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
