ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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