Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
