We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize