girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
