I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
