Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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