We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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