Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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