My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
