OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
