One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
