so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize