Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
