Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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