would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
