there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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