i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
