Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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