P.S. I can't hear my feet
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
