nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
