there's paper in my vomit.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
