Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Come on in and take your pants off
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