I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
