One girl and one boy is just not enough.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
