you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
