she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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