we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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