$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
