My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Randomize
