Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
True strength comes from lack of pants
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize