You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
