she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
