Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
