I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
