Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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