that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
