She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize