I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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