I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
