Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
