I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
