a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
