party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
