Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
