So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Drake has all the answers
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
