Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
