i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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