i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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