I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
