I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
