brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
