Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
