I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
