i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
