She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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