i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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